Life as AFAC

Chiewy says I am the bearer of parties. ‘Coz there were more office parties since I arrived since she started last year. Kit says I am the bearer of overtime. ‘Coz he never sees our junior AD Jeffrey hanging out in BBDO Shanghai (to wait for his gf) anymore. I think Kit is more correct. I’ve been here for five weeks now are two weekends of those are spent in the office. (Take a wild guess where I am now.) Next week I might work again over the weekend but this time in Singapore. I hope it pushes through. I’ll do anything to be warmed by the sun again. And wear my tube tops without freezing to death.
It’s so cold here. I feel so ugly. And all the chips and nutella I’m downing go straight to my belly. I can’t wear purple now, or i’ll look like grimace. I was supposed to buy winter coats and have a haircut this weekend so I won’t look like frozen delight everytime I go to work. People here always ask me, “Are you all right?” “Are you sick?” I don’t know if I should be happy that they are such caring people, or be pissed that they sincerely think I look like shit.
Next week we have two pitches due. Pray we win them so I won’t get deported.

Weird daw ako. My boss said last night I’m a weird girl. Told him all my CDs said the same thing. My POV is far out and surreal and not what a normal , sane person would think of. Papa Darth (aka David Guerrero) puts it nicely, “Your ideas are left-field.” Bob Guerrero has a 10 point rating system to rate women friends and crushes for fun. He lists down the top ten qualities she must possess (such as shared values, makes me laugh, etc.) and rates each one from one to ten. Then adds up the score to 100. One of the qualities important to him is “a little bit crazy.” He said I scored a perfect 10 on that one. Maybe 11. (Incidentally, the list doesn’t include “a little bit lesbo” tsk I would’ve scored well on that too.)
When I met ex-future partner Kit on my recoinnasance last August, he also mentioned that I’m a little bit crazy. Imagine, a person who has known you for a total of maybe 48 hours only and he already knows you’re a looney. Hmmm… I wonder what my future partner thinks of me… he seems a bit crazy too so maybe he finds me normal. Alelee and Maricar are also a bit strange that’s why we’re best friends (miss you guys).
I prefer the adjective quirky. Quirky Carol. That sounds like me. In fact last year when I was considering applying for a business permit I wanted Quirky Carol to be my brand name. Another euphemism I like is effervescent. Sound clazz. But as I told Tin Sanchez a couple of years ago, which she posted on her wall of quotes,

“Na-accept ko na na weird ako.”

How would you describe me?

I used to like her. I used to be excited meeting her again. I even thought we’d be best friends. But Ikea and I had a falling out. I went there last Saturday to my stuff for my home. For some reason I wasn’t so impressed. I used to go crazy when I go there but now they look so… ordinary.
I’m not sure who changed. She or I. Was there a change of designers so the stuff are not so cool anymore? Was it because since the last time I went to Ikea in HK there have been so many copycats (Our Home, SM etc) so the colors and streamlined styles that used to be unique has now become so normal? Was it my taste that changed, now demanding more in terms of design and quality? Maybe all of the above.
I bought less that I expected. Some of the stuff I just bought because I need them immediately. But even some things I need urgently like knives, can opener, salt & pepper shaker, kettle I decided not to buy from her coz after some thought, I realized I’d rather wait and see if other stores offer better crafted and designed things.
This is my general mantra in life, Settle Less. Especially for stuff that you’ll be stuck with for a looong time. Get the best even if it means waiting or costing more. Like pillows, computer, camera, and well, can opener haha. This goes to people as well. I choose my friends carefully. Boyfriends even more. Case in point, when I got a couple of finalists at Cannes (the Oscars of advertising) this year my ex-partner Carl texted, “It seems easier to get in Cannes than to get a man. I think I found the perfect man who meets your standards, and I think he’s not married: the Pope.”
I guess I’m screwed then. Or rather, I never would be. Contrary to what most people believe, the qualities I find attractive are pretty simple. But that’s another story. Back to Ikea, I bought really good utensils, just a pair of plates, bowls & glasses (nice but plain, my plates I left with Alelee are much prettier), a teflon pot, pan, and basic ladles, hangers, a towel, a small blanket for the sofa, and star shaped Christmas lights I MUST have. Imagine my shock when the price was 50% more than my budget. I ended up spending rmb1500++ for these basic things. I miiiiiss my old stuuuuuff.
What pissed me the most is at the check out counter. They charge for the plastic bag you use! WHAT?! Isn’t that understood that when you buy something it comes with a bag? It’s not as if I asked for an extra bag, they charge you rmb1 (php7) for the most basic plastic bag that should’ve gone with it. AND THEEEN, you’re expected to pack your stuff yourself! I didn’t realise this at first, and the cashier and I looked at each other in the eye, both not quite knowing what to do. Then she gestured I pack it myself. WHATTTT! I bought so much breakables, what if I don’t know how to pack it properly? What if they all break? You don’t care right? You got my money already and you don’t care. I just paid your whole month’s salary and you won’t even pack my things. This is stupid.
I went to the packing counter trying to figure out what to do. Whilst grumbing inside. On the wall were their stupid explaination why they are assholes. “We at Ikea don’t have much service because it means saving on expensive labor. That’s why.” “We at Ikea blah blah blah so we pass the savings to you. That’s why.” DUUUH! You’re just a cheapskate. That’s why.
This is China, the cheapest labor in the world! At Ikea Singapore and HK, they pack the items for you. And that thing about passing savings to me, my ass, IKEA Founder Ingvar Kamprad is one of the richest men in the world. They didn’t even ground the electricity properly so I kept getting static from the push cart. Hahahahaa, I was so bitter that day it’s funny.
Ikea. Love her or hate her. Either way, you can’t get enough of her. Kinda like me. Kinda like Kris Aquino. eeeew.

My boss Johnny was going around giving flowers to everyone. He opened some bottled water from the pantry and made instant vases. The Pinoy part of me was horrified. Imagine wasting expensive water like that?! Di mo ba alam ilan ang nagugutom sa Ethopia?!

     But the woman in me prevailed, after all, who can resist flowers? Jasmine, who is seated at the far end of the office couldn’t wait for her turn, she literally stood up and hopped about, "Johnny where’s my flowers?! So unfair!" Even Chiewy who was out texted him, "I want flowers too!" Everyone got a vase, even the men.

     His girlfriend surprised him a huge bouquet of flowers for no apparent occasion. Probably to cheer him up for a tough week, he says. So he’s sharing the luuuv. How sweet!

     How many bosses can you think of gives you flowers? My ex, who became my boss for a week, never did! At that point, we were dating for a couple of years!! His logic was, "Why do you want to receive sexual organs of plants?"

     Amazing how 10 words explain why the relationship worked, and why it didn’t.

Can you believe it?! There’s a bar in Shanghai called Gspot. I wish it would put me in throes of ecstasy but no, twas just (yet) another pretentious bar cum dance club. It is such a weird name. Lao wai (foreigners) find it tacky and locals have no idea what it means.

     Jasmine had to do store check for Johnny Walker so Chiewy, Ken and I tagged along. I so wanted to go out coz it’s my first month in BBH. And I survived it with minor scratches and bruises. Some of Ken’s friends from Weiden followed and we started this dice game apparently popular in bars. Basically it’s a game of bluffing. Each of you have a canister with five dice which you shake then try to bluff your way through, guessing how many 6’s or 2’s etc the whole table has. If someone calls your bluff, everyone opens their canisters. If you bluffed you drink. If you turn out to be correct then the other person drinks.  After a few rounds I got bored. How this dodgy game became so popular, I have no idea.

     The locals were playing it so intently they were in a world of their own. I was more interested in the hand signals for numbers. Since the music was so loud, they started communicating using sign language, Chinese-style. The thumb and pinkie sticking out like the letter Y is number six. If you can’t visualize what I mean, imagine Kuya Germs’ hand when he says, "Commercial break!" Got it? A hook forefinger means nine. A gun (fore finger+thumb) means eight. I got confused, it’s how we do our seven. Apparently seven is all your fingertips and thumb pressed together, like a flowerbud. Our macho production manager (and king of the dance floor) Ken taught me how to do it properly. He pressed his fingers and shook it a bit. "Seven," he said.

     In Italy, this same motion means "F**k You." And in the Phils, it means "Kain tayo! (Let’s eat)"  If you combine all the meanings together, maybe you get, "Let’s eat, it’s fucking 7 already!"