I spoke too soon. The day after publishing the Top 10-ish reasons why I like Shanghai, and the night after I wished I can experience the real Shanghai, I got into a car accident. It was just after lunch and a Buick slammed at our taxi and we smashed the cab in front of us. We were running slowly and was 2 minutes to the office. I felt my whole body slide off the seat. My head hit the windshield and instantly I felt the pain on my neck. My knees hit the dashboard and felt pain on my back. The driver apologized immediately and said he has to settle this first. I told him to bring me to the hospital instead, but I can’t remember what it is in mandarin. But I remembered what doctor is, both written and spoken, or at least what our mandarin teacher said it was. “Daifu. Wo xuyao kan daifu.” (Doctor. I need to see a doctor.) The driver could not understand what I was muttering. Then I remember the fookien term for doctor is I-seng. “Yi Sheng!” That he understood, he said okay but we have to go to the police station first.
I found out later from Kelly that Daifu is such an archaic term for doctor. She was laughing at me, saying the taxi driver must think I’m crazy speaking in archaic Mandarin. “Thou taketh me to a physician!” I wonder if it sounded like this to him. (”Daifu? Fire the teacher!” our MD exclaimed this afternoon.)
Anyway, I was in shock I couldn’t cry but all I could think of was whether I will be covered by the healthcard. The first person I called was our finance manager, Leelee, because my health card hasn’t arrived yet and WorldLink Expats Hospital is ridiculously expensive. Then informed Kathy and Jackie of BBH, and Matt of course, that I had an accident but I seem fine. Then I started sobbing uncontrollably because I didn’t know if I had internal injuries. All I could think of was Princess Di’s car crash, and this article that graphically explains what happens to your body in the first 15sec of a car accident: First the impact will break your neck (and I really felt the impact on my neck!) your knees will get crushed (my knees hit the dashboard!) etc. But at the same time felt so lucky I seem okay externally and that I am a legal resident. Imagine what it’s like if I’m a TNT! (Instead of going to a hospital, I’d go straight to jail!) I also felt so stupid for not wearing a seatbelt just because we are running very slowly and in broad daylight.
An English-speaking man came over and told me we have to go to the police station AND that it’s not his fault, he’s just helping to translate. But I didn’t want to get out tof the car coz I dunno if I have internal injuries. But he said I have to report it and the police hub is just right next to the accident-area. So I reluctantly got out of the car and inside the police station. Another well-dressed woman spoke to me in English and emphasized again that they are not at fault, they are just with the investigating team of sorts. I remember thinking, are they from the insurance agency? They look pretty fashionable for goverment ground public servants. I realized a moment later they were with the car that hit us, MGA BUWISIT, just not the driver.
I was crying, “I WANNA GO TO WORLDLINK! IT’S THE EXPATS HOSPITAL I GO TO IN DANSHUI RD.” But she said we have to go to the Accident Dept first, it’s SOP. Then after a while she said they can give me money instead to go straight to a hospital, no need to go to the Accident Dept. Wait, didn’t she just say that was SOP? What’s going on?! I don’t want any money (although a massage GC would be nice.) I told her to call our office manager, Kathy, coz my phone is low batt. Kathy told her to fuck off, they need stay with me and go with me to the hospital; then she told me to stay put because Yinbo and Kelly will come get me.
I asked for the driver’s card and he turns out to be a Vice something of Admin of a Chinese investments company. Alan something. What pisses me off is he never apologized, not even for all the hassle he caused! I have heard him apologize to his mates in Chinese for the hassle he’s caused them, but not to me!! Whathefu–?! He never even came near me or acknowledged my presence until I demanded for the card of the driver. (See Matt, people in financial institutions in China are really pricks. I’ve only met two, a brit and shang’nese and both are ill-mannered.)
Yinbo and Kels came in a few minutes and by that time all the licenses and reports have all been delivered to the main police station already. How efficient these communists are. That Alan driver drove us to the accident dept of the nearest gov’t hospital. It was pretty high tech, but so slow, if I had internal bleeding I would’ve died before I was attended to. We had to go around and around to register, go to a doctor, go to a diff area to pay, then go to an xray room, then go to another building to do ct scan etc. Good thing Yinbo was there, he’s technically a local. (A Shanghainese back as an expat… best of both worlds!) The driver didn’t even offer to do the rounds himself.
Yinbo also served as my translator but being a prankster, he would invent his own translations. Like, the doc would say something, then he would translate, “He says they have to cut you open.” So while having my xray, he was saying, “Chin up..higher… now, take off your pants but keep your panties on.” We all kept laughing. He repeated it. We laughed again. Kelly finally said, “”No really, take off your pants but keep your panties on.”
It took sooo long to see a doctor then get the xray then ct scan for my head then see the doctor again then have another ct scan for my spine just to be sure… and the ct scan was in another building across a small road. Imagine, this is the Accident Department! Kelly and I felt so lucky we have better lives. Being born to Chinese families who had the chance to flee China at its worst, it’s not hard to put ourselves in poor mainlanders’ shoes. What life would have been had fate been unkind? Kels bought food and kept telling me stories to make me laugh and make me feel better. I never had anything that day, so we while we were waiting for the doctor we were eating chips, laughing, and having a party while my eyes were puffy from crying.
I wondered if that Alan felt he’s so unlucky or so lucky. Unlucky because he lost his wallet that lunch time (hah! driving without a license too!) and hit us right after lunch and aside from me at the hospital, there are two cars with huge dents. Lucky because we’re in Shanghai and not in sue-country New York! And lucky we’re in this piss-smelling gov’t hospital and not at Worldlink which would’ve cost him at two months’ salary IF he is earning a decent salary to start with. He only spent rmb 780+ on my hospital bills which is about P5100 only. (On hindsight, I wished we went to Worldlink because he never ever apologized, I mean, if he’s decent enough and just wanted not to lose face, he could’ve told Yinbo to extend his apologies to me. Not necessarily to admit his fault, but at least for all the inconvenience he’s caused. But noooo!)
The results came and I didn’t have any fracture. (My mum was right, when we were kids she always complained I am “hard-headed” (headstrong.) Then we have to go to the main police station to file our versions. That Alan was driving, and #$%^ he was taking on his mobile while driving!! Some people never learn! I so wanted to scream “Hey, don’t talk when your mouth is full!” ay mali “Don’t talk on the phone when driving!” But by the time I was asking Yinbo to translate he was done.
Yinbo by the way was heaven-sent. All the reports must be done in Chinese so he had to write my version of events. Basically what happened was this stupid cab driver in front of us was unfamiliar with the road and stopped in the middle of the road. My cab driver hit the brakes in time not to hit her. The car behind us didn’t brake in time. (Or he must be tailgating that’s why he slammed on us.) The three drivers had to stay longer at the station to find out who pays for what. My cab driver apologized again for the inconvenience, and I said “Mei Guan Xi. It’s not your fault.” I can get used to having a translator beside me, it feels like I’m in a Ms Universe pageant final 3 Q&A round, or an important political figure in international peace talks.
It was still early so I went to Ikea after to buy cheese grater and bowls I’ve been needing for so long. (Yes, could be an ad for Ikea.) I should’ve gone home, coz I started feeling dizzy from all that crying, and my back and neck is still hurting. (I feel like Batman, I can’t move my neck and have to move my whole torso when talking to someone.) Arto our CEO called me up that night telling me not to go to work the next day… nor go to Ikea.
I came to work today and read that last Wednesday Jackie emailed everyone using the standard format when people miss a cab or drop by a bank before coming to work;
“Carol got car accident, will be in later.”
