I feel so third world.
I had it all planned out. I am going to Europe last week September, through the one week October holidays, then a week after that. In my early 20s I wrote down goals to reach by 30. One is to travel once a year every year around Asia and Phils, then by 30 to go to Europe. Last year I was all set to go, saved up and all, but my travel buddy backed out. Then I got expatriated to Shanghai and used one month instead to fix my papers and things. I said, okay lang, next year I will still be 30 if I go before my birthday.
This year, I planned going to London, Paris (and south of france), Italy (florence, rome, venice), The Vatican and Barcelona. Chiewy is going to London for a conference around that time and we will meet up with her friend Yen. That would be so much fun! Would’ve.
From the 3rd week of July, I was out of town most of the time. I went to Singapore for BBH Asia Creative Conference (everyone in creatives attends our conferences, not just one handpicked team). Then my cousins from UK arrived and we went to Tongli Water Town one weekend and to Guillin and Yangshuo the next. Then I went to Bangkok for two weeks for a shoot. Came back for a week then flew back to Bangkok for 5 more days. August was done. Then on the same day I arrived from Bangkok, I flew to Chicago then MIami for our BBH 25th Anniversary (again, everybody in the world was invited, all expense paid). I just arrived this Monday and called the French embassy.
“Sorry, the earliest appointment for a visa interview is on Nov 28.”
I called the Spanish embassy. The pre-recorded message kept asking me to press all these numbers then ended up with a dial tone. The italian embassy was worse. They gave me a call center number where I need to call to set an appointment, which charges 5rmb a minute, and all I get is piped-in music!!!! Minutes and minutes of piped-in music, call after call. Then all these embassies I call, majority doesn’t have english “subtitles”. Kahit websites! Of course they are not required to, but naman, majority of the tourism world speaks English or Chinese, especially in Shanghai, sana man lang for tourism’s sake they included English. I had to get a Chinese officemate translate the pre-recorded messages for me. And put most of the websites and documents in Google Translate.
The Dutch embassy, I thought, might be better. I mean, who goes there from China? I called and *HAAAAALLELUIA!* somebody answered the phone. But they don’t give individual visas and only process business or family visit which takes anywhere from 2 weeks to 3 months! Plus this needs a lot more papers. I am going to give Italy and Spain one last try next week, if all else fails, then I’ll ask my uncle in The Hague to send me his Dutch papers. Hassle lang and diyahe coz he’s reaaaally busy with stuff that can really make a difference in the world. He has something to do with energy planning and searching for bio fuels at a major oil player, and he writes energy papers and economist chuva for the Philippines that I can never comprehend, and does fund-raising for Gawad Kalinga. And then little fatty me would steal some of that time and have him go to the townhall to notarize invitation letters and gather some relatively unimportant documents? Di ba super diyahe? What if the time he would spend doing that was supposedly the time he could’ve discovered the best bio diesel source? E di ako pa ang naging cause of extended global warming.
I am going to try other ways first. Like trying Spain and Italy embassies one more time next week. Like face painting for charity tomorrow to raise funds for a children’s medical fund. Mabilis ang karma. Fine-Fedex. Maybe I will make God smile and everything will be okay.
I feel so third world. Living in Shanghai makes one forget that beneath the surplus Armani dress, Class AAA fake Marc Jacobs tote and Calven Klein panties, this citizen of the world is really a third-class citizen of the world. I have to get visas everywhere when people around me don’t. I have to fly economy and “all that Axe and Charlie cologne” make my Nenuko and Angel’s Breath “evaporate into thin air.” (I don’t get bruises on my legs coz unlike that infamous excuse-of-a-journalist, I can fit on the seat.)
People in the office go to Ireland, London, Australia, US at a moment’s notice… either for a rush meeting or they just feel like it. I’m used to travelling around Southeast Asia not needing a visa (teynks God) that two weeks before a friend’s wedding in Taiwan, I forgot that I needed a visa! And Taiwan doesn’t have an embassy in Shanghai because, as my Shanghainese officemate said, “Of course, because Taiwan is not a country.” Good thing I had a darna brainstorming session in HK and I managed to get it done at the Taiwan “Cultural” Office.
When we went to the US Embassy to get visas for our Miami Conference, I was the only non-mainlander in the office that needed to apply for a visa. 9 out of 14 got denied, simply because the consul could not believe that one company will send everyone to a US conference, even those who are very new. Hasn’t he heard of Jimenez Basic?! (Well, probably not since I’m in China nga pala.) Erase. Hasn’t he heard of the devaluating dollar and the rising RMB? Hasn’t he realized that China is the safest place from terrorist attacks? Who wants to make The Dragon angry? Who wants to be blown to bits in the States when you can be run over by a bus in Shangers?
Nine colleagues were denied before my turn; and the consul had a lot of questions to me too. But all those years of post-pageant debate of who can come up with better Miss Universe answers paid off. I answered pretty well and turned on my super power dimples.
I’m sure I’d get the Shengen visa too for my European trip. But the process is soooo painful. And winter is fast approaching. Why do we need visas to their countries when they don’t need one to ours? Why can’t we go where we want to go, work where we want to work, and live where we want to live? If my grandparents’ ships docked in Singapore instead of Visayas, I’d never need a visa anywhere. (Then again, I’d have a veeeery, veeery Singaporean accent la, can or not?)
I am Third World Carol.
