The most problematic man in the world
I met a strange man today. He’s a mainland Chinese who was based in Norway for a few years, a VP in a shipbuilding company. He is the one of the most stressed out persons I’ve met that our conversation inspired me to write a children’s book about him.
I first met him early this year in the elevator when I arrived in HK, with luggage and all. I met him again in the elevator when I arrived from europe with luggage and all, and he remembered that I didn’t give him my number the last time. Haha. Long story short, we had a get-to-know-thy-neighbor coffee this afternoon and my, I’ve never met someone so worried about everything and nothing! It is quite interesting. Below, he is the one in quotation marks and I am the one without.
“The problem is I will live working day in and day out until I die.” Why? “The problem is I cannot take a vacation.” Why not? “The problem is it is so stressful here.” This goes on and on and I tried to explain to him how there is only one thing he can control: his life. External things will always affect us, but we have the power to choose.
You know Oprah Winfrey? She interviewed a bunch of very sick kids before but surprised how happy they were. She asked one kid how she can laugh when she’s in so much pain. The kid shrugged, “Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.” (A kid said this!!!)
Anyway, I told this to the guy and he asked, “But how can you not suffer when there’s pain?” I said, well, Pain will still be there whether you decide to feel happy or decide to wallow in self-pity boohoohoo I’m so depressed waaah! “Hahaha that’s me!” he said. But he really couldn’t comprehend my point, so I said, okay, Worrying is like a rocking chair. You spend so much energy rocking back and forth but you’re going nowhere.”
To help him visualize, I asked him to imagine himself being 94. My grandma was 94 and I figured whatever problems you’re facing today, by the time you’re 94 you’d just laugh and wonder why you were so stressed about it. He closed his eyes shut then open his bewildered eyes and said, “The problem is, I can’t imagine myself being 94!” Okay, imagine yourself when you were in university. You were so stressed then about grades etc, but thinking about it now, it wasn’t all that bad right? “No the problem was, it was really stressful because blah blah..”
I know what your problem is. Your problem is, you see everything as a problem!
Hahaha that’s what I told him. When I see this ceramic vinegar holder, I see how well it dispenses just the right amount of dip, but you may only see that it might break!
“You’re lucky.” Yes I am.
“You don’t get stressed?” Of course I do, I have a veeeery stressful job.
“The problem is, I’m Buddhist, you’re Catholic.” It has nothing to do with religion.
“Teach me to be happy.” I can’t. It is a choice you make.
“But my life is so stressful. Everyday I get (fill in the blanks for boring stuff)”
I asked, who is the 5th president of the United States? Who won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1968? (He actually shut his eyelids and pulled his hair trying to think, haha.) Okay, never mind. Now can you answer this? Who inspired you? “My father.” Who makes you feel good about yourself? “My mother.” Who has made you feel stupid?”Oooh a lot, I want to kill them! Haha”
My point is, when you die people don’t care if you built 50 or 1000 ships a year. But people remember how you made them feel. People remember if you’ve helped them or made them laugh.
“So why do we need to work? Why do you work?”
Because it makes me happy!
After our conversation he felt happy and was laughing like a kid, and I feel so drained now, hahaha. I think I reached my annual quota for “being adult-like”. hahah. I don’t think I’ve given so many nuggets of wisdom at one time to a stranger. But I think our conversation makes an inspirational short story, like Dr. Spencer’s “Who moved my cheese?” Maybe I should write one and illustrate it myself.
